Dear My Loyal Followers,
Today I just remembered that I had this blog. It is crazy that its been two years since my last post. So many things have changed since. For starters, I graduated college with my Bachelor's in Biochemistry Cum Laude. I got accepted into OU's College of Public Health Master's program where I'm majoring in public health with a concentration in biostatistics.
After reading some of my old posts again, I realized how dramatic I sounded. At the time, not only did I use this blog for class but also as a personal diary. In retrospect, that was the kind of person I was back then. Fortunately, I am proud to say that I have learned how to manage my depression, stress, and anxiety much better these days. I'm in a much better place mentally which has inspired me to do a complete overhaul of my blog. I no longer want to write stories about sad events and thoughts in my life. Life does not revolve around just love or heartbreak; there is more to it than that and I want others to know that about me.
When my program started, I was still with my ex at the time. It was nice until we got into an argument one night. We ended things and after that, I've been moving forward since. I started going out more and hanging out with my friends. I've been more open to my parents and letting them in. I've been learning how to be kinder to myself and to be okay with being on my own (this was difficult). I started going to the gym that October and I haven't stopped since. What prolonged the inevitable was my inability to let go of someone who I had strong feelings for. I really had to put a stop to my old way of thinking to get over it. I'm happy with all the of progress that I've been making whether it be physical or mental. Even my best friend Keziah sees it. She's probably the only person that truly knows me. She remembers how I was during my middle school, high school, and college phase. Recently, she told me how much I've changed and that she's happy with how far I have come.
I'll admit it. Sometimes, I'm not the best "friend" and that's due to some issues that I'm still trying to overcome. I realize that it's not easy to find someone who has your best intentions; or someone who understands you; or someone that you can be yourself with. I have some pretty awesome people in my life and I never want to lose them. As a result, I've been putting more effort into being there for them and vocalizing how much they truly mean to me. I might not have a huge circle but I know I'm a pretty good friend to have.
In the end, the journey to recovery is long and requires patience and kindness. My mental status is so stable right now. I really thought that I would never get to this point in my life. There is still so much that I need to work on but despite whatever happens, I know I have myself in the end.
The present, I will be in.
___________________________________________________________________
No comments:
Post a Comment