Thursday, February 24, 2022

Did You Guys Miss Me? 2022

 Dear My Loyal Followers, 

    Today I just remembered that I had this blog. It is crazy that its been two years since my last post. So many things have changed since. For starters, I graduated college with my Bachelor's in Biochemistry Cum Laude. I got accepted into OU's College of Public Health Master's program where I'm majoring in public health with a concentration in biostatistics. 

    After reading some of my old posts again, I realized how dramatic I sounded. At the time, not only did I use this blog for class but also as a personal diary. In retrospect, that was the kind of person I was back then. Fortunately, I am proud to say that I have learned how to manage my depression, stress, and anxiety much better these days. I'm in a much better place mentally which has inspired me to do a complete overhaul of my blog. I no longer want to write stories about sad events and thoughts in my life. Life does not revolve around just love or heartbreak; there is more to it than that and I want others to know that about me.

    When my program started, I was still with my ex at the time. It was nice until we got into an argument one night. We ended things and after that, I've been moving forward since. I started going out more and hanging out with my friends. I've been more open to my parents and letting them in. I've been learning how to be kinder to myself and to be okay with being on my own (this was difficult). I started going to the gym that October and I haven't stopped since. What prolonged the inevitable was my inability to let go of someone who I had strong feelings for. I really had to put a stop to my old way of thinking to get over it. I'm happy with all the of progress that I've been making whether it be physical or mental. Even my best friend Keziah sees it. She's probably the only person that truly knows me. She remembers how I was during my middle school, high school, and college phase. Recently, she told me how much I've changed and that she's happy with how far I have come.  

    I'll admit it. Sometimes, I'm not the best "friend" and that's due to some issues that I'm still trying to overcome. I realize that it's not easy to find someone who has your best intentions; or someone who understands you; or someone that you can be yourself with. I have some pretty awesome people in my life and I never want to lose them. As a result, I've been putting more effort into being there for them and vocalizing how much they truly mean to me. I might not have a huge circle but I know I'm a pretty good friend to have.

    In the end, the journey to recovery is long and requires patience and kindness. My mental status is so stable right now. I really thought that I would never get to this point in my life. There is still so much that I need to work on but despite whatever happens, I know I have myself in the end. 

The present, I will be in. 

 ___________________________________________________________________


~2021~


Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Biography: Such a Fool

Author’s Note
My inspiration came from two places. One of them is Rick and Marty; specifically when Rick sees Unity again. They were passed lovers and after some crazy coincidence, end up running into each other. Since their last time together, Unity created something for herself and became successful. All the while, Rick reunited with his family. After meeting again, they partake in their old habits which includes drinking and partying. The influence of Rick ends up ruining Unity resulting in her leaving Rick. Rick is heartbroken and tries to kill himself. 

The second place came from myself. This story depicts the time when this guy broke up with me. I used different fonts and onomatopoeia to give the writing more feeling and motion. I also assigned different colors to each person to make the dialogue clearer. I’m blue. My ex is red. Purple writing is my thoughts. I also tried recreating the setting in which my ex started talking to me. My goal was to depict sitting in the union on campus. I was doing my homework when it happened. 






Buzz...buzz...buzz...buzz...buzz...silence

Phone screen says, “Missed called from Une

I should answer it. 

Don’t. Something bad awaits 

There’s a bad feeling in my gut. 
I fall asleep for a few hours to ignore him.


Ring! Ring!
“Hey can you call me back”


There’s that feeling again in the pit of my stomach. 
I hesitate. 
Something bad is going to happen

I call back. “Hey sorry for missing your call, I was taking a nap”


“Hey look I think we should break up” 


My heart breaks in half. 
This can’t be happening


Why?” 

“You don’t think we should break?”

I don’t think we should

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“I don’t see you in my future”

“I don’t even think about you” 


Pins and needles are caught in my throat

“Can we still be friends?” 

sure” 


I stood there in my room
Doing my best to keep my tears
But they escaped my eyes; 
Scattering across my face;
Sucked up by my carpet. 


“AY POY CAN YOU HELP ME MOVE THE CAR?”, my dad yells from the kitchen.

“YEAH” 



.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.             
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
2 years later

*Click*
“Your assignment has been submitted!”

*Click* Scroll 
“.... internalized along with its bound ligand. Coat proteins just beneath the membrane interact with the receptors..” 

“ORDER NUMBER 37, YOUR FOOD IS READY” 


April?”


Seeing him next to me really caught me off guard. 

“Uh.. hi?” 

       “How are you?”
                          “Can I sit next to you?”
                                                                                            “Are you busy?”
                            
                                               “I’ve been too scared to talk to you



You’re such a fool
Nostalgia and desire filled my mind. 







Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Week 15 Story: Take It Off!

Author’s Note
My inspiration came from the Part E of the Mahabharata when one of the wife was dragged and was basically stripped naked. However, since she started praying to Krishna, her robes were never-ending. I thought this was a sad and appalling scenario so I want to make my story the opposite. The main character is a male stripper at a strip club. He’s going through his routine as he is performing.

The crowd chanted “Take it off!” Whistles zoomed around the room. A bra landed right in front of me on the stage. In permanent, a phone number was written on garment. Being a strip model, I’m really used to the attention and craze of the crowd - they’re the reason I get paid. My initial costume was a business suit and I carried a briefcase in my right hand. The stage lights always made me sweat way more than usual. 

I made sure to make eye contact as many women as I could as I looked from left to right of the room. I made sure to point at some lucky ones; it gets them wild up when I single them out. Whenever I strip, I always like to start from the top like most people. My fingers loosen my tie. I unfasten it and throw off the stage. Next are the buttons. I make sure to sway my body as I unbutton each one of them. As my shirt comes, the crowd goes wild. The stage crew then dropped water onto me. My abs glistened in the light. I slick my hair back and the women all scream. 

The part that gets them the craziest is when I take off the pants. At this part, I start walking down into the audience. I let one of them help me take the belt. Once the belt is off the woman pulls my pants down but to everyone’s surprise and especially mine, I had another pair of pants on? The woman pulled that one down and yet there was another pair right underneath it. At that moment, the room was silent. I was so confused. Everyone was staring at me and my pants. 

Up in the clouds, the god Krishna was laughing his head off.


Bibliography 

Epified TV, Mahabharata Part E, Youtube



Krishna 
Source: Wiki

Reading Notes: Mahabharata Part F

The fact that her husband proposed that they strip her naked was appalling. What kind of husband is that?! I’m glad that the Pandavas are going to completely rock those other people. No woman should ever be forced to do that in front of a everyone. I thought it was cool that by praying to Krishna, her robe was continuous! So cool. I’m glad that the Pandavas vowed to seek their revenge because no one deserves what happened to her.


Bibliography
Epified TV, Mahabharata Part E, Youtube



The Pandavas Go Into Exile
Source: Wiki

Reading Notes: Mahabharata Part E

For me, one of the most down the earth things is listening to someone talk about their revelations, thoughts, and journey. I absolutely love hearing people talk about their passions. I fell in love with this guy who did just that. He had so much to say about his interests. I love people with sustenance. I love people who actually think and try to make themselves better as a person. This part of the story really touched me. I thought it was so cute when the pregnant wife ended up falling asleep while listening to her husband talk; that type of sleep ALWAYS slaps. I love when someone can tell me a story or something. I love it when a person can teach me things because I want to learn and better myself as well. I also knew the baby was going to absorb his father’s words. There’s a belief that if listen to classical music while pregnant the baby gets smarter. Not sure if that’s true but this story definitely reminded of that.


Bibliography 

Epified TV, Mahabharata Part E, Youtube


Abhimanyu During Battle
Source Wiki

Week 14 Story: The Lover’s Task

Author’s Note
I was inspired by Daupradi’s Swayamvar where the princes who wanted her had to do a difficult task in order to win her. Very materialistic if you ask me. My story is a commentary on the difficulties being a woman. My inspiration for the princess came from an original story called The Tale of Princess Kaguya. Princess Kaguya made the noble men who were in love with her to get her the mythical objections that she asks. I wanted to do the same thing here but with less materialistic tasks. 



A Lover’s Task 

Princess Ruga was the only daughter of a powerful king who ruled the nearby lands. She was a very beautiful young lady but she was very lonely. Her heart was locked in cage because the men in her life didn’t know how to treat her right. A man who she truly loved completely broke down her walls only to leave her for another wealthier princess. She had magical powers where she could Astro project herself to other places. She could see and feel the injustice being brought onto pure and loving women. Her heart bled for women that were suffering because of their abusive relationships. 

On the night of a full moon, she projected herself into the minds of every man who did wrong in their lives. She sent them a message saying that she will hold a competition where someone can win her as their wife. She further states that whoever wins her shall be rewarded with a life time of royalty. Throughout the night, several men woke up with a smile on their face and greed in their hearts. 

A few days later, the king announced that men around the kingdom shall participate in a Swayamvar to win his daughter. All the men quickly put on their best outfit and combed their hair. Many lied to their wives by telling them that they’re going to run errands. Many wives just replied by rolling their eyes.

At the castle, men of all sizes and age were there and ready to show case themselves. The princess came out and announced what they all had to do.

“Hello everyone. I am Princess Ruga. I will now announce the three tasks that you all must accomplish. First, you must feel what a mother feels. Second, you must do what a mother does. And lastly, you must think how a mother thinks. You have by the end of the month to do all three. In the end, I will be the one to determine yourself. No one shall lie, for I will see the truth.” Princess Ruga wanted to laugh so bad but she had to keep her silence. In her head she thought “none of these men are going to pass my tasks.”  To make sure that these men were taught a lesson, Princess Ruga cast a spell on all of them. That night all the men turned into women while the all the wives turned invisible. 

The next morning shouts and screams were heard through out the neighborhoods. Men who turned into women screamed as they looked in the mirror to see that they had become a women. Some men ended up turning into pregnant mothers. Without their knowledge, the spell would last for the entire month. Their wives giggled watching their husbands freak out. “How splendid, now they will have to understand what its like to be a women in a world like this.” 

The men who were now women, all had to do tend to the house and children because their wives were missing. They were forced to go grocery shopping and cooking. A lot of them didn’t know how to and became frustrated by the first day. The kids became wild and didn’t listen to their dad-mom. The men spent a lot of time cleaning the house too. By the time they were done by with the first chore, they were already tired. “Man, I still have to clean the rest of the house”, one of them said. At night, some men-women actually went out to the bars to drink one up. As some was walking, men who didn’t turn into women, cat called them and even sexually harassed them. When some men-women got into the bar, all they got were mean and lustful looks from the men. The bartender asked them what the hell they were doing at a place like this at night. “You either go home right now or be in danger later” warned the bartender. Despite his warning, they all stayed and drank.

Later that night, horrid and inexcusable things happened. Let’s just say some of the men-women learned the hard way of being a women. The next morning, a couple of them woke up and couldn’t walk because their bodies ached with pain. A few had bruises and black eyes. 

One of them was actually a pregnant mother who went into labor in the third week of the month. He-she was scared because she was by herself excluding the nurses and doctors. The men-women experienced a pain that was so unbearable and excruciating. He-she wanted this baby out quickly but it took some time for the baby to come out. He-she pushed and pushed till their veins popped out but nothing happened. When the doctor decided that he-she could not push the baby out, they decided to cut her open. He-she really could not believe this was happening and thought, “Jesus is this what mothers have to go through?” 

Some men-women ended up dealing with their controlling fathers. In one argument, the father told his daughter (the men-women) to be quiet or else. In some arguments, this resulted in the father beating the daughter. After some time, the men-women learned what they must say and what they should not do. 

The day before month finished, Princess Ruga decided to see how much these men have changed. Princess Ruga had many powers but the most important was that she had the ability to look deep into someone’s soul and determine what kind of person they are. She can could see what troubled the person and what the person yearned for. She obtained these powers after she had her heart broken by the love of her life. A goddess felt her sadness through the coldness of the night. The goddess seeped for the princess in which her tears formed a small pond. The goddess told the princess to submerged herself in the pond for she will be given celestial powers.

The day before the end of the month, Princess Ruga astro projected herself into the dreams of the men-women. She looked back at their past experience and saw they had felt. The next day, all the men-women turned back into men. At the castle, the men returned with their hearts heavy with guilt. 

Princess Ruga said “Good morning to you all. I have witnessed your journey since the first time you came. I hope that what you experienced helps you all understand the difficulties of being a woman in today’s time. I hope that you will be better husbands and men.” 

At home, the wives were back to their usual routines. When the men returned to their wives, they all greeted them with passion. They all missed their wives very much. Many of them apologized for treating their wives so poorly and not caring enough. “Thank you for all that you do my love.’


Bibliography

Epified TV, Mahabharata Part D, Youtube




Princess Kaguya
Source: Character










Reading Notes: Mahabharata Part D


That so cute that everyone was excited for the Swayamvar.. oh I see so its a celebration to see who can get the girl, Draupadi. Interesting.. Why did the Pandava’s dress as Brahmins. Wow so whoever can shoot the fish in its eye wins the girl. Why couldn't have been a more romantic task, like why does it gotta be killing a fish. In one of the Inuyasha movies, there was a powerful priestess who was wanted by several men so she made them do difficult tasks to prove their love for them. Despite fulfilling their tasks, the priestess didn’t want any of them 😆


Bibliography 

Epified TV, Mahabharata Part D, Youtube

Draupadi’s Swayamvar 
Source: Tiki

Did You Guys Miss Me? 2022

 Dear My Loyal Followers,       Today I just remembered that I had this blog. It is crazy that its been two years since my last post. So man...