The two important facts I learned from this article were not be self-critical and to look at the positives. Rejection hurts, but it hurts even more because we criticize ourselves. I know that this is one my biggest faults. When things don’t go the way I intend them to, I always blame myself and I take them personally. I was never good at receiving feedback. I remember playing a solo in the 7th grade for a competition where I received a ranking and feedback from the judges. Despite my teacher’s efforts of getting me to read them, I never read their comments. I know I messed up on my playing so I didn’t want to read what they had to say. Now in college where rejection is even more prominent, it still hurts. Although it’s difficult, when I’m rejected a position that I applied for, I still ask for feedback. It’s important to be better than how you were yesterday. In addition to be being critical of ourselves, the little voices in our head become louder. These voices bring negativity that we don’t need especially in time of rejection. Therefore, it’s important to be able to silence them. I know for me it’s difficult to do so especially at night.
The Pain of Social Rejection
Source: APA
In addition, the first article explains that our brains are wired so that we feel real emotional pain when rejected. I would always be upset for a while after being rejected while my friend would be upset for a little bit and then be over it. Now I know that’s okay to be upset over rejection; it’s normal. The catch is to not be caught up in the feelings after a while. We have to move on and keep moving forward. Being rejected is a staple feature of life; there’s no way around it. Therefore, we can either let it bring us down, or we can.
When I was in high school, I used to be on the swim team. I remember not being picked for the dream relay team because of this girl in my class. It was simply because I wasn’t fast enough and that was all the feedback I needed. Everyday, I tried my best to get better and in the next season, I was that relay. Receiving feedback and rejection not only teaches us how to be better, it can also show that our time will come eventually.
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